sorry about that.

So yeah. Emotional outburst much. Sorry about that. And don't think blogging about it helped. I did the whole "let it out" thing, but blogger thought that was funny and decided to torture me by not spacing it properly. I actually did the laugh/cry/anger in a split second. And it's not even that time of the month. Combination of uni, friends, parents, money, moving, emotions and lack there of and impatience led to my slightly worrying emotional outburst.

But, new day, everything's still fucked but I got that whole "roll with it" thing going on this morning. It's raining. I can't take pics for photomedia. I HATE PHOTOMEDIA. Well, really, I'm terrified of it. So I'll do all the other assignments on my wonderful day off. Which I don't have a car for.

Muchlove.

one of THOSE days.

I can't be the only one.
Those days where you wake up

and KNOW it's going to be terrible.
you could bet with confidence it's monday.
all you want to do is curl up and dream.

but you get up.
you follow routine.
you break it just a little.
that last attempt for a good day.

( today, that meant pigtails )

and you endure.

the mask comes on.

solid and painful.

then what feels like years later you're "home".

you breathe out.

you relax a little.

the mask slips a little.

but its too early.

and too late to put it back on.

and it fucking hurts.

that one thing more pushes you over the edge.

craving hugs.

no one.

wouldn't help anyway.

too many masks, too many walls.

cry myself to sleep.

like the "good" old days.

presents/presence

This was Cousin's Thursday present, which, obviously, I was meant to give to him when I saw him on Thursday. I say 'was' not because he's opened it, it's no longer a present and is now an actual item. I say it because I forgot to give it to him and chances are he won't open it on a Thursday. So the tag will lie. Or confuse. Either way.
But the reason I'm including this pic is because I'm overwhelmingly proud at how uh-mazing I am at wrapping. You know those people you want to point and laugh at because they say they "enjoy a challenge"? You know the ones, the ones who make you feel lucky that you can just enjoy sitting on the couch, or enjoy eating nutella straight from the jar, or enjoy napping; They have to frikin challenge themselves for enjoyment. YOU WIN. But Oi with the point, I found a challenge I enjoy. Odd shaped presents. The presents you look at with your head tilted. The ones that make you think about just putting a bow around it or finding a gift bag. For example, Easter eggs. Or hats. So, admittedly, this one wasn't too hard. The hardest bit was finding sticky tape. And taking the pic:

Yeah. That's all the crap I had to avoid being in the pic. Made it tricky. I mostly suceeded I believe. But still felt the need to share.

So that's completely un-list-related. Woops. I keep thinking of all these things I should have put on my list. Like, Uni related stuff. Or, make new friends stuff ( it's because I've done these already. It's all... well... that was an achievement... can't cross it off any list though... dammit ). And we're getting close to 100 days down. I'll need to find a way to celebrate or commemorate the special occasion. Any ideas?

MuchLove

Procrastination

Today I had to do: two assignments ( start/ get as much done as possible ), ironing to pay for credit, cleaning and probably other stuff that was important too. So of course, I procrastinated. It's in my top 5 skills, under sleeping but above making food that's terrible for me. I attempted to read blogs numerous times but people don't update as frequently as I procrastinate so that was frustrating. BLOG MORE. So I took a pic of Happy Froggy for you all! isn't he the mostest adorable? The ribbon around his neck actually held him together before I found the super glue. Please also note the coolest alarm clock ever ( he needed to be amazing, otherwise he would have wound up smashed many years ago ), it glows and tells me the temperature. And has the gift of snooze. It came on schoolies with us ( I used it for knowing the time, not for getting up. I had T for that. stoopid bitch ).

Yay for Happy Froggy and my procrastination.

death by balloon

List update ( which will slowly but surely turn into a bitch about how crappy I feel about everything at the moment ):

I figured 31). would be cool for when people do World's Greatest Shave or 40Hour Famine or along those lines. But yes, I've been approached about helping someone I went to school with and the whole thing was really vague but I think there was a God angle and at the time I had no money. Like, at all. Like, oh, your hungry? wait til you get home or drink some water because you can't spare the 2$. But the reason I'm thinking about this is because of something I saw on facebook. There was an awareness gathering whatsit in England for Cystic Fibrosis where they were going to release a shit-load of balloons to remember those who suffered and/or died from the disease. Now, I'm not totally heartless, I don't think ( close, but not quite there ), because I had a reaction. Rarely do I feel strongly about anything. The last time I remember getting thingy about an issue that was completely seperate from myself was when Madonna got divorced from Guy Ritchie and they had some ridiculous amount of money that everyone wanted to know about. I got really angry about this. No one should have that kind of money. You can live above and beyond your means with half the money they were talking about. The amount of shit that happens in this world that can be avoided with a bit of money is silly. I'm convinced that Madonna alone could like, halve world hunger. But yeah, passionate about things out of my control, balloons released into the air that looks all pretty and whatnot, BALLOONS ARE MADE OF PLASTIC. Anyone who knows me, knows that I don't really care too much for animals. But the balloons go up, and then they pop, and then they go in the ocean and kill dolphins and whales and penguins. And the people who know me also know I hate talking to strangers. But I emailed them and told them. I told them find better balloons or don't do it. I acted. And I feel good for it. I want them to respond though, that would make me feel better.

On a less serious note, becoming ambidextrous for 42). would be mighty convenient. I could sit on whatever the fuck side of the lecture theatre I wanted. Before I post, I go through my list and make notes on what one's I can write about to pretend I've done something for them, and I've started writing it right-handed. It's really rather messy. But I feel I got my grip on the pen right this time. I'm not patient enough for this. I like writing because it's fast and neat and efficient. I can't write fast nor neat with my right hand. I guess if I get it neat and it feels comfortable I'll be able to cross it off but I don't ever see myself being able to write right-handed fast. At least not in the next 930ish days.

I'm catching the train 3 days a week, which means spending money 3 days a week. Which means I'm getting 20c pieces 3 times a week, so Happy Froggy is filling up fast. I'd take a pic of him to show you all how amazing he is BUT I've temporarily misplaces my SD card ( it's so frikin tiny!! It's asking to be lost and you know it. ). But I recently glued his sides together because he kept splitting. And the 20c pieces come up to his mouth almost.

So I just did a typing test to see how amazing I am at typing to see how far off I am for 69). ( I can't believe I picked typing of all things for 69). How boringishly lame ). I got to type all about Baseball and Astronauts. I typed better about Baseball than I did about Astronauts, which is kinda LOL-able. I got around 40ish wpm for each. Which is crap. I type impressively well. If I didn't compare myself to my freakish mother I'd say I was fast even. 40 wpm is not fast. Maybe I should do it again and to hell with mistakes. And punctuation. No one likes that shit anyway. Do I look at net or gross? I think gross becuase 47 is much more impressive than 39. Why did I pick instructions? that's even worse than Baseball. AGAIN. The Wizard of Oz. No. oh, 49 and 39. I thought I was better than this!! ergh. I have to double my typing speed, practically. You won't even see my fingers, that's how lightning they'll be. Kudos to http://www.typingtest.com/ for telling me just how crap I am.

So I know I said follow three blogs for 76). but I'm all up in the blogging spirit and am following about 5 now. It's the best form of procrastination. Next to MLIA of course.

I need to cross off 78). because I worry too much about money and coping. So I figure if I have a job, I'll have less time to think about my lack of money, less time to spend my money and have more money. win win win. It's tricky getting a job when you don't know where you'll be living in the next month though.

I talked to T, my list adjudicator, and he thinks it's reasonable I write about a series for 93). once I've finished the series. Rather than a ridiculous amount of repetitive blogs. I'll still blog about the first in the series, and then at the end of the series. yay.

And Blogger, I love you right now. I just somehow clicked a link and got taken to a different page ( the pretty dress I want from SES I bookmarked ) and frantically clicked back and expecting the worst but NO! DRAFT PULLED THROUGH AND SAVED THE DAY! So much relief. But stop spacing things weirdly. It's pissing me off.

MuchLove.

poetry?

Mini rant: While making sushi this evening, I wrote a poem in my mind. I'm not usually big on poems. If I could be so amazing and write music, I'd write songs constantly. I'd be the mostest amazing songwriter EVER. But I'm not that talented. And so I occasionally think up poems, rarely write them down and never remember them. So yes, mind-prose. Sushi. And mid thought I realised I HAVE A BLOG NOW! I can write crap like this down. And then I remembered what the poem was about. To clarify, it was mostly about me. Most of everything is. I'm a selfish person. That's the way it is. But it happened to have something to do with a boy. And people I know read this. And people I know would realise who said boy is. And then read into it. As I have ( why the fuck am I thinking about you? Get out of my head!! ), but that's only because I read into everything. And then over-analyse it. So, even though part of me says "It's YOUR blog, write whatever you want. Crappy attempts at poetry would bring a whole new angle of crappiness. It'd be fun" and the other half is ( so much bigger than half and ) screaming "It's not even like that! Darn people and their gossip and opinions! KEEP EVERYTHING TO YOUR SELF". And the ridiculous thing is the whole issue is completely innocent, nothing to hide, ness. But I messed myself up with thinking. Darn thinking. It was a cute poem too. Didn't involve death and suffering as much as usual.

MuchLove.

book #6

Circus of the Damned by Laurell K. Hamilton is the 3rd book in the series. And still beyond amazing. These blog posts are redundant as they are so darn predictable. You know full well by now that if it's an Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter novel I'm going to be gushing. And I will be continuing to gush for a while to come as there are 15 I believe. I decided to read them in order without other books in between because a) I'm really enjoying them and b) I'd hate to distract myself from the story line. My tendency to pick up vampire books, even unintentionally, might end up being confusing if I start jumping series.

I've put off writing this because I couldn't really think of anything new to say. I'd have to use thesaurus.com to find synonyms for 'amazing' and 'fantastic'. Putting off writing about this one hasn't stopped me from reading though. I'm now up to 6.

You know what? READ IT. Why did I put this on my list? Can I alter it? Can I write about the entire series once I've finished it? I think that would be amazing. After a strange convo with B about not cliff jumping, musicals and other list related activities I realised I need someone to check I'm not cheating. That person is T. He has a list. I see him daily. If I don't see him during an entire day, we've at least talked on the phone, texted or talked while one of us was half asleep and therefore too lazy to open eyes to actually see the other. So yes, I shall talk to T, see if I can be lazy this way. It would benefit all involved I believe. I promise extra long reviews. Comment your opinions on this matter, if you please.

5 stars. Obviously.

I found the right cover this time. I'm quite happy about that :)

Cookie Monster would revert

So, before when I was saying I couldn't be bothered to get up and find the recipe... it was in my pocket. Yes, of the pants I was wearing. Made me feel rather silly. But there you go. I've doubled the recipe I was given so there was a decent amount of cookies.

RECIPE: [CHOC-CHIP COOKIES]
ingredients:
250g butter
1 cup sugar
2/3 cup brown sugar
2 egg ( beaten )
1 tsp vanilla
2 1/2 cups flour
2 tsp baking soda
250g choc-chips

method:
preheat oven to 190°C. Put paper on a tray or two or three.
Cream butter and sugars together. Add egg and vanilla, mix. Sift flour and soda together and stir into mix. Add chocolate.
Drop tablespoon fulls onto tray. Leave space for spreading. Bake for 10-12 mins.

what do we think? Do they look delicious? Is my crappy photography doing them justice?

T insists they are the best texture. The mix tastes really good too :) uhh, yup. March's recipe for 45). Oh, speaking of recipes and 45). I finally got that stupid tupperware box back. Finally.

NOT sullied by blood.

IMPORTANT FACT: my hair is currently curly. Actually that's a completly useless fact. Odd fact ( that tries to make sense of the first fact ): I like to know what the person I'm talking to looks like. I spent >3 years talking to GSJ on msn before I knew what he looked like. It annoyed me to no end. I gave him a face ( my subconscious did. A dream involving a funeral and him, but he was the guy from SG Atlantis ). So, I hope the 'important' fact is somewhat useful now? I shoved my barely shoulder length hair up in a clip thing, and that somehow made it curly. The up do made my blue streak look wikked amazing though, if I do say so myself.

I did have a point this time. It wasn't just to share the amazingness of uni like last time. Actually... on that note: funny thing about that post was as much as I was complaining, and as much as I was having a crappy day... I still pretty much loved the fact that I was doing something, rather than sitting around at home wondering what to do. And, on that note, that day got worse. I somehow managed to put my foot in a hole, twist my ankle and fall to my knees. There was hardly anyone around though. And I didn't put holes in my tights so all is well with the world. But I missed the shuttle bus, and also the train ( not because I fell over though, just bad timing ). So I was out for an extra hour that I could have been at home for. AND I got talked at from Kingswood to Granville. My people hating ways are back, fear not my friends. Not all has changed.

With the purpose and the whatnot; List related stories include:

I can cross 7). off because I saw a play. musicals count as plays, right? I know what you're thinking. Cynical, apathetic, pessimistic you went and saw a cheerful, let's-sing-when-no-person-in-their-right-mind-would-sing, musical!? The Wizard of Oz, no less. And it was cute. I'm not going to gush about it because, let's face it, it was a school production and I didn't really know anyone in it ( except T's cousin and munchkin's gf, who were both amazing of course ). But it was better than sitting at home on a friday night, and there were alot of people I knew there so that was... fun ( I can't think of a better word. It wasn't fun. Or amusing. It just was. I wish I could write with amazing finesse. Is that even a word? I want it to be ).

Rach has a blog :) I love it. It's so her. I finally worked it out, the stoopid internet or computer or something technological kept linking me to a blank blog with just her About Me. So I kept mind-willing her to write something. And then I found the real one. And it was a definite yay moment. I do slightly feel like I'm stalking her. But I guess anyone who knows me and reads this might feel the same ( hi friends =] don't freak out, it's cool you've taken the time to read my shite ). So yeah, Rach's blog. I can keep up with her for 49). and have a third blog to follow for 76).! multi-tasking, baby!

I made MORE cookies. They're amazing. They'd be better with decent choc-chips though. I shall remember this recipe in no time. AND IT WAS A NEW RECIPE. I shall blog it later when I'm not exhausted and therefore unable to leave the desk and Harry to find the recipe and take a picture ( which would turn out crap anyway, because I don't have the 'photography eye' or whatever the fuck you want to call it. I call it uncooperative cameras, but that's just me )

I wore heels to the musical. YEAH. Not all day like I have to for 84). but still good practice. I know you're totally impressed with the fact I walked half a street, sat in a chair for 2ish hours, and then walked back the half a street in maybe 6cm heels. I didn't collapse in pain or take them off in public though. I did want to kick numerous people with them. I believe; however impractical a fight in heels would be, it would be much more painful for the person on the other end. And that progressed to wanting to try and break someone's nose. Something I've never done before, but have always been willing to try. That's a different story though. Pretty heels, not sullied by blood.

I really need to complete 97). and soon. I will get a plan instead of prepaid. I will not burn 20$ in a week and a bit. I've never used so much credit before. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Besides, you know, actually using my phone. I should stop that. That won't happen.

Ah, yep. That's my list life for the moment. In other news, I vaguely changed my About Me, have a new pic ( which is about as dodgy as the first, but this I think has a dark and mysterious edge I'd love to actually have. We can dream ), and wishes my tooth would stop being a bitch. There was an ending to that sentence that was relevant but the pain in my mouth was more pressing. Get it? tooth pressing through my gum. SHARP tooth. Being a bitch, in my mouth. Sorry. That was particularly lame, even for me.

MuchLove.

complain-a-thon

This isnt going to work. I had plans to use these three hours to catch up on writing about all the movies and books I've enjoyed lately. BUT NO. It's old school internet with no tabs and annoyingness. Why you ask? Coz I'm at uni :) that's right, using a library computer like the nerd I am. Not really. I just have an intense addiction to the internet. I literally had to stand and death stare to get a computer. Well, the death staring didn't work but I got a computer so I feel like the winner in this equation. And this keyboard is evil ( read: different to what I'm used to and therefore not working right ). And I don't know what else to say.

I started my first uni assessment today! I had to write my name. I'm not joking. And really, it was easier than that. I had to trace my name. I kept having the weird hiccup bubble tourettes thing though and it was a tiny classroom so that was kind of embarassing.

What else can I complain about? that's the purpose of this blogpost I've realised. Anyway. My teeth hurt. Well, one of them. My wisdom teeth are being horrible. The top right one is four pointy spikes under gum. And it hurts muchly. And it's only one and I therefore feel somewhat retarded. Just be even, dammit!

The photomedia topic makes me feel really retarded, while on the topic of ness. I can't take pictures. I take happy snaps. And that's it. I attempt anything else and everything goes out of focus. GRR.

The computer next to me is free. WHY HAS NO ONE CLAIMED IT?? haha, yes. power of thinking my friends. It's now taken.

My next tut is at 3. I have ages!! Um. complaining. My left-handedness is awkward in the lecture theatre place. The seats are designed for right-handed people. This bothers me. The train ride is 2 1/2 hours. One way. That's rather disgusting. My bag is really heavy today. Wow. I'm too good at this complaining thing today.

I'm rambling because the alternative is really boring. Mostly because I can't think of an alternative. ERGH.

ok fine. I'll stop. Because I am out of things to complain about.

MuchLove.

But I surely don't.

so yeah for mondays. No. I can't even fake enthusiasm for mondays right now. What I can be enthused about is tuesdays. YEAH FOR TUESDAYS. I will sleep in. I will wash my clothes ( which doesn't sound thrilling but having clean clothes to wear keeps me happy ). I will earn me some cash ( which I will immediatly spend on textbooks ). I will be home for dinner; not on a too cold, slightly weird smelling train. I'm excited :) well, relieved is more acurate but still. YEAH TUESDAYS. It was a long day today. I was so close to blogging at uni today. It will happen. And it will be EPIC. But yesh, all the computers in the library were taken. Grr Face.

I havn't updated for a while becuase I'm a lazy slob who has actually had somewhat of a social life this past week. Nuts, right?! haha. I drank in celebration of finishing febfast, completely defeating the purpose in the process, but what the hell. I went to an internet cafe to kill zombies. There wasn't much zombie killing involved. CoD is a strange game that I'm not that great at. Actually, I'm downright crap, but that didn't stop me. I went to an 18th in the middle of no where, which was quite the fun. I walked a ridiculously long way to pick up a not drunk T, getting blisters in the process.

I changed a tire :) T had a complete flat. So say there are slightly flat tires, and then there are dead tires which just can't be saved. This tire was beyond dead. It was the rotting corpse of flat tires. So he bought a new one, and I got to change it. Twas quite the cool except for the fact it was raining. And I realised that as much as I want to play the independant, can-do woman card, I simply don't have the arm strength for lifting a tire in and out of the boot. So, in case of emergency ( ie. flat tire when I'm alone ) I will stand next to my car looking confused and pretty and hope that someone with actual muscles and not sad excuses for arms pulls over and helps me. But I def get to cross off 36). now.

I've gone out of order. It flowed that way. Whatever. Moving on, I'm hoping to cross 2). off soon. Alice in Wonderland is out at the moment and the person I was going to see it with ditched me for someone else so I figure I'll go see it alone. Plus, I have a free ticket at the moment. Methinks the universe is screaming for it. So I shall respond. If I get around to it. It's all a bit needs and not wants at the moment, which is a lie actually but I'm sleepy and right now it feels that way.

Uhm, 46). is odd I know. I really like cookies, ok? I thought I'd found the perfect cookie recipe and I've basically memorised it by making it so many times but I've been given so much criticism ( they need more sugar, they're not solid enough or some crap. I think they're crazy. ITS A COOKIE GODDAMMIT, JUST EAT IT ) I've realised they probs arn't the best ever. But I've been given another recipe to try so that's rather exciting. And I get cookies out of it, so it's not even a chore, AND I can cross it off the list for this month. Win, Win, Win.

Now I'm left with two excuses ( I can't think of a better word for them ) For 78). and 79).. I am working for family members; just cleaning and general household ness, for cash. It's technically a paid job. TECHNICALLY. It's the fact that I have to include technically that stops me from crossing it off. Same with 79).. For the 18th in the middle of no where, I drove there. Through the frikin Galston Gorge. EWW. It's such an achievement for me I desperately want to cross something off the list for it. But I'm pretty sure I've been through there before, just not with me driving. So, TECHNICALLY, I went to a new place but really I'm cheating. So when I get close to the end of 1001 days and these are still both on the list, I can cross them off because I've noted it here, ok?

I'm no longer making sense. Probs shouldn't have done this now. Ah well, more fun, yes?? no wait, random fact, NeverShoutNever! is an amazing band but not if you're in a bad mood because the cutesy just makes you want to stab something. Trouble is an amazing song everyone should listen to because... I said so? Well, really, I just like recommending the stuff I'm currently loving.

MuchLove.

But you can call me Alice

I finished my first week of uni today. HOW FRIKIN EXCITING IS THAT?! The most exciting bit is the fact that it's only Thursday. That's right, 3 day weekends. most epic schedule ever. EVER, I TELL YOU. I don't think this is remotely list related but whatever. I'm ridiculously happy with the whole deal so you get to hear about it. AND: I made friends. Yes, people-hating me. Friends. Whole sentences are for the unenthused. Don't question it. But friends, right, G and S are pretty darn cool. So cool, they get letters. I'm going to run out of letters way too soon. I'll just have to return to my people hating ways. Next week, maybe.

I'm going to stick to this theme of non-list-related life facts and tell you about Alice. I'm pretty sure I promised to explain in an earlier blog. So here be explanation: I went on omegle. This is a ridiculously amusing website where you get to chat to random strangers from across the globe. And because I'm a paranoid freak I decided to use a fake name. Alice. I've grown quite fond of it, actually. If I still like it next year I might change to it, legally. Wouldn't that be fun? It's all Stargirl's fault. She changed her name as soon as the old one didn't sit right. I like that idea. So yes, I will also answer to Alice.

What else can I tell you? Mornings suck, there are so many people on the platform. I want to stand on something and ask loudly why they are all up so early. If they don't have a legit reason/plan to move closer soon then I think I have every right to push them onto the tracks. Morning people really arn't actually human.

umm umm umm..... I have apple crumble and its pretty darn delicious. This be my dose of fruit for the month. Actually, semester would probably be more acurate.

Ok, I've started just rambling so I shall go find something better/more useful to do.

MuchLove.

I was only dreaming...

DREAMS FOR FEBRUARY FOR 92). :

1). I was walking up to a shopping centre where I meet L. He was limping but wouldn't tell me why. We then met with a group of people and found a place to eat. I chose not to eat. One guy ordered a large hot chips and a huge debate started. The others were arguing that he needed fish or something with it but the guy who had ordered it was getting all flustered and said "why can't I just eat chips!? It's a large!"

>>L is always a jerk in my dreams so him not telling me why he was limping is not surprising at all. The food debate confuses me greatly. Maybe my subconscious was craving chips?

2). There was an old rickety house on a hill that I was meant to go to but I didn't want to. I was pregnant and complaining about it loudly. Then I had a lightglobe moment and realised I could just get an abortion. Then I realised that I had no idea how to go about that, so I got N to help me out.

>> This is because my pop's brother's daughter's daughter ( shutup. I'm tired and can't work out the actual word for how she's related to me ) is pregnant. And 15. AND KEEPING IT. ergh. Go subconscious me, is all I can say.

3). I was at school, outside the drama room. I was watching some concert ( on a stage where the elevator should have been ) A guy from school came and told me that we had to go to class. I was following him because I was lost. As he went into his classroom, I yelled out some insult. Two guys walking into the room looked at me oddly and I told them to repeat it to the guy. I kept walking to my classroom. There was hardly anyone in there, and they were all placed oddly around the room, watching a tv. I was having a bad day so I decided to go find the kittens. I walked past the drama room and the concert again. The restaurants around it were all bringing out plates of food for people in the audience. I went into a warehouse and asked one of the woodwork kids where to go. I kept walking through a corridor and many doors until I got to a dark room with an empty easel and a painting on the wall. I couldn't work out the picture and it was confusing me. Ms. Bera, the music teacher, came out of no where and started explaining how it was all about the moon.

>> I figure, with Uni starting soon, I'm trying to process. Like school but different, right? well that was the dream. Just spaz different rather than Uni different. And asking and following people is the unknown. I don't know where to go or what to do. I have to ask people.

4). There was a girl in a giant slingshot. She got fired into a wall of wire strings. She climbed up a bit, and then a second girl came and wedged her neck between the first girl's feet. The first girl then flicked the second girl up the wires. The wires went up really high. They were going to do this until the top. I didn't want to watch anymore so I went with Mother dearest and a little kid. We sat on the edge of a jeep because there was no where else to sit. Suddenly, a whole bunch of people jumped into the jeep and started to drive. Mother dearest and the small one got off but I decided to tag along. We drove through a tiny neighbourhood. These people were tracking a middle aged lady. I volunteered to help them because she hadn't seen me before. I found a map and we worked out that she was poisoning the water in the school with the water from the aquarium next door. We then went down to the sewers to work out how she had done it. The sewer was like an underground train station, but where the train should be there was green liquid. A giant orange snake lived in the liquid. There was also a boy who either turned into the snake, or rode the snake. We had been trying to help him and the other students of the school. I had to go back to the slingshot girl. Mother dearest was complaining about a BBQ. Something about different meats being cooked together. I looked at the BBQ and each piece of meat had a countdown for how much longer it had to be there.

>> Umm? Just to point out just how warped my brain is, when I wrote the dream in the book, instead of writing aquarium I wrote aquatic animal zoo. WTF??

5). My entire graduating class from high school ( I've always wanted to say that. It's so amerikan though. You get the idea. ) was on a round ( as in circular, as in not a normal shape for a ) cruise ship. There were too many of us on board and we were sinking a bit but no one seemed to mind because there were force fields in place. At one point we stopped being a cruise ship and turned into a submarine. We took an underwater current so we would get there faster. The next current we had to find was haunted by a mutant creature that could change to live on land or in water. A kid on a skateboard and his friends tried to stop it but they all ended up in hospital. The creature blended in with the whales and got away.

>> I watch too much stargate and therefore think ships should have force fields. That's all I've got.

6). I was coming back from D's 18th party but I couldn't keep control of the car, I was only using my mind. When I got home Mother dearest told me I had to start C's bracelet all over again because it wasn't good enough. Then I overheard a convo with Papa and someone about his pacemaker and how he didn't want to get the battery replaced and he would just die when the time was right. And then I was in Kmart and B was there. The aisles were taller than usual and he was upset because someone was sick and he had lost them in Kmart.

>> I'm not very good at driving and it makes me nervous. So I have weird driving dreams all the time. I was feeling terrible about C's bracelet already because it didn't fit her :( But I'll fix it, not remake it. If something odd is happening in a dream 50% of the time it's in Kmart, I don't know why.

7). H took me to his aunt's wedding so I could cross 16). off my list. His cousin's girlfriend wanted to kill us so we ran away, even though it was pouring rain. I was amazing at running in heels. In the car, kids on skateboards kept cutting us off. Then suddenly I was alone in Kmart looking for nutella.

>> The Kmart and the driving thing again. It's kinda cool that the list is in my dreams.

8). I was a lawyer and a famous blogger. I drove an SUV home. I was dressed all fancy. I was trying to get away from someone though, so I went to E's. Her puppy had tripled in size and so had her loungeroom. A bunch of guys from school were there playing video games. Her driveway and her street had turned into a giant slide so I grabbed a pillow and went down.

>> It would be so frikin awesome for her driveway to be a giant slide. Or anyone's for that matter. I just really want a giant slide I guess.

9). I was on a gameshow playing on my addiction to nicotine. We were given a pack of smokes and that's all we were allowed until we finished the task. I had to find a lady. There was an issue with balloons. One of the guys teached me how to cut the ciggarette in half so it would last longer. The next task was at a school. There were hurdles set up but I wasn't meant to jump over them. I had to go under the first one and through a small gap on the second one, then repeated about 20 times.

>> I don't smoke. So I don't really understand why I keep smoking in my dreams. And I have no strong desire to join a gameshow so I don't understand. At all.

10). Mother dearest and I were organising something and I texted her to confirm I would be there. Somehow she thought my text was me agreeing to sing. I got really cranky and wanted tea to calm me down. I really didn't want milk but Mother dearest was trying to force me to have it. I stormed out of the house as a bunch of friends showed up. I walked so quickly none of them saw me, except for T. He followed me out to the street where I sat and had a rant. Then Munchkin and little cousins and Uncle came out of the waterworks with sparklers, chasing each other. I went back inside, and down the stairs to the garage ( which was a part of the house on the coast. The rest of the dream was the house I'm in now ) and started scrubbing the walls with carpet cleaner to get rid of the blood.

>> I don't like to sing. And I don't really like tea. And I can get frustrated easily. And I have absolutly no idea.

HELP ME? I'm so lost with these. So completly lost and confused. Silly brain. Way to confuse me.
I like naming these dream posts with song lyrics. The first was pretty obvious. What wasn't obvious was that it was Manson's version. Because his voice is so goddamn sexy. And this one is from OMD's Dreaming. I reckon I can keep this up for at least this year.

book #5

The Laughing Corpse by Laurell K. Hamilton was just as amazing as the first. Honest to goodness. I love this series so much. Which is convenient because there are still so many to read.

This one had killer zombies. And voodoo. Much the coolness. Although, I'd much less like to live this world after. It was pretty gruesome and pretty descriptive. I guess I get to combine my love of gory thriller books, vampire anything and mystery. MUCH YAY.

This cover isn't the same as the one I read. Which has frustrated me intensly. But still, it's the same book so you get the idea. The cover of the book I read was yellow with her face taking up one side and a zombie hand and a ghostly figure on the other. That was probably completely unnecessary info but there you go. I'm just a sharing kind of person.

5 stars for definite. LOVE LOVE LOVE.

CAKE!

It's late in the month and somewhat boring and I practically forced myself to do it but I completed 45). for this month. We had a ridiculous amount of oranges so I turned them into cake. logically.

RECIPE: [ORANGE POPPYSEED CAKE]
ingredients:
125ml ( 1/2 cup ) milk
1/3 cup poppyseeds
180g unsalted butter
220g ( 1 cup ) caster sugar
1tsp vanilla extract
3 eggs
finely grated zest of 3 oranges
125ml ( 1/2 cup ) freshly squeezed orange juice
375g ( 2 1/2 cups ) plain flour
2tsp baking powder

method:
Preheat oven to 200°C. Line a 24cm cake pan with baking paper.
Place milk and poppyseeds in a bowl and stir. Let stand for 20 mins.
Beat butter, sugar and vanilla together in a large bowl with electric mixers, until light and pale. Add eggs one at a time.
Gently fold in zest, juice and poppyseed mixture. Then fold in flour and baking powder.
Spoon mixture into pan and bake for 45-50 mins.

Yummm... this is T's piece. With cream and caramel topping.

I didn't actually get to take the cake out of the oven. I got munchkin to do it for me. I had to go pick up T. I almost died in the process. Combination of too many people and a giant car and a tiny street. We all survived though. Car included. Grandparents came over and we all enjoyed cake. Parents started FebFast a weekend early so they got to have sugar for the first time in a whole month. Dad looked pretty happy. I'm guessing I'll be that way come monday when I can start drinking again.

And, side note, that box I forgot to take home from the last time I baked for 45). - is still AWOL. One day, it might make it back. Maybe.

mornings will be the death of me.

Why, blogger, do you hate me so? i press enter and you assume I'm done? no more blogging for this girl, despite the fact she only put a heading in? WHAT? you deeply confuse me sometimes website, but you let me ( most of the time ) release my thoughts into cyberspace and for this I am grateful. And my normal style of writing has, for some unknown reason, left the building.

Let's see if I can find it again, shall we?

So, I shall tell you about my list. 49). is still easy. I posted Rach's letter and I really want a reply soon. I'm thinking if I save, fly to melbourne for a long weekend ( one I make up myself, not one that's official with higher priced plane tickets ), visit Rach, hang out with my amazing family down that way, then cross off 79). because I will find somewhere in Melbourne I havn't visited before, then come home I will a) have an amazing time and b) feel accomplished for being able to cross something off my list.

53). was one of those things on the list I dreaded. I can't lose weight. It just doesn't work for me. I hate not eating just because I love food so much. I can't exercise consistantly because it's bloody painful and you tend to avoid stuff that is painful, right? So yes, I dreaded trying to lose weight because I'm one of those people that when you think about losing weight you put more on. Stupid right? But I have been blessed! I hope, nay, I pray to the universe, that this weird thing my appetite is doing sticks around. It died. Literally, my appetite got up and left. Now I have a snack and dinner and thats all I really need. I don't understand and I don't really need to. I've been putting off telling people for 3 weeks, because I didn't want to jynx it ( the universe is evil that way ).

I am planning on completing 88). soon. It won't be too much of a challenge because I'm already a pretty honest person but I will be telling people I'm doing a week of complete honesty. Which means a bunch of questions people probs don't want real answers to. Or, to make me squirm. Which, tbh, takes alot. I also think a question can often reveal more than an answer... keep that in mind folks.

Finally, 96). is bugging me. I had 12 posts last month. I figure 12 or more a month would be pretty neat, and fufill 'consistantly'. So, despite my dying internet, my early mornings of late and the fact that my computer is near-full and is choking a bit I've been trying to blog. YEAH ME. Not really, I've avoided sitting on msn and facebook ( which, btw, is all my computer knows. It leads a boring, repetitive life. Poor Harry the laptop ) and reading more. I was trying to complain less on here, but dammit, that's just me. Em Complain-Alot. or Alice Complain-Alot =] more about that later... But yes. I think this will be ten posts for february. I finished the 2nd Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter book already so thats 11. And then I can tell you all about Alice, and orientation day, and... something. How exciting.

Muchlove.

book #4

A kindly lent me Guilty Pleasures by Laurell K. Hamilton. First off, THANKY RACH! she recommended this book to me ( Well, A did first, but that was before I started my list and therefore wasn't compelled/forced to read all recommended to me ) and I loved it. So much. I'm already ripping into the second one. I apologise in advance because the next several book reviews will be me pretty much gushing over how fucking UHMAZING this series is.

It's quite similar to the Sookie Stackhouse series, which I also Loved. Yes it's capitalised. Love might be a strong word but it's not conveying just how mindblowingly special these books are. I'm such a vampire series junky. haha.

No but this one is different! It's got zombies too, and other un-dead and lycanthropes which is trippy speak for Were-creatures. The main character, she's so cynical and bad-ass and honest to herself. Which is going really well with my love affair with honesty I'm having atm. I'd quite like to live in her reality, which Hamilton paints so beautifully. Not many people can write like she can.

Obviously, 5 stars. I'd read this again and again and again... etc. until the pages fall out and its no longer a book but worn pages that resemble a book. I'd also recommend it to anyone and everyone. So, yeah, go read it! you most likely won't regret it ( because nothing is certain in this world; who am I to know you're not a spaz who can't/won't appreciate an excellent book? )

forget the shirt

I start uni next week!! YEAH! This time next week I'll be telling you how my first lecture and tutorial went. I know, starting four more years of education shouldn't be so exciting but GAWSH. I'm bored of home now. I do quite love my lazy days of sleeping in til the afternoon but once I start going to uni I'll appreciate and love the sleeping OH SO MUCH more :) and on wednesday I have orientation day. woo. meeting people...

I'm going to start talking about list related things instead of meeting people because we all know my opinion on people...

I was invited to a masquerade party. I know, my list says HOST a party. but I reckon going to one will def be good inspiration/idea giving material. 19). is one of those things that are going to be a stretch. I'm terrible at organising ( as my mates I went to tropfest on sunday with will testify to - group getting on at three different stations, meeting at epping to get on a train we could've been on earlier...ergh ).

T got a piano :) well, keyboard. WHATEVER. I still get to learn when we move! It's so cute with the letter stickers and different noises and naww. And it also takes up too much room in our already limited space we currently have.

I got a letter from Rach :) It's all pretty happy atm, aye? I'm writing a reply nowish. 49). IS SO MUCH FUN!! hehehe.

Ok, so it's not all a happy atm. My 6 is all a bit fucked. I don't know who is talking to who, what I'm supposed to say or not say or if I've done anything wrong. So I've secluded a bit, I'll be sitting in my corner and if they want me to listen then cool, I'm happy to listen, but otherwise I'll be avoiding it all. You know, in my corner.

I know it doesn't count for 73). but i got E to redo my blue again today :) its turquoise. but still. It's a bit bigger and more visible coz of the shortness of my hair. We had to bleach it twice to get the colour out of it proper.

I'm practicing for 84).. Well not really. I don't leave the house in heels because I just embarass myself. I can't really walk properly in them coz I'm a clutz, and I can't last long in them because my feet just hurt. So, I have my tallest heels under my desk to wear when I sit here. It's kinda the reverse of normal people :) They hurt though :( Oh well, they're pretty, and we all know that's what matters.

I bought myself a diary. Which is a kind of day planner I think. But yes, 100). totally on the way of. I put everyone's contact details in and birthdays. It's amazing and a stationary item so therefore immediatly cool because I was allowed to go stationary shopping for it :) I LOVE STATIONARY. I should get a t-shirt. Actually scrap that. I should just get more stationary and forget the shirt.

muchlove.

book #3

Fangland by John Marks is an odd book. One of those ones that when you finish you sit back and go... wtf just happened?! It was pretty cool though. I think I've mentioned before that I love the whole vamp genre for the different ideas and consequences of immortality. THIS BOOK DELIVERED. I was fascinated by how it explored death and the brutality of murder and how suffering is affected by time.

I love reading diaries. It's no secret. If there is a book that is set out like diary entries I will read it so fast you won't have time to blink. Well, no, not really, but I will read it pretty darn fast. I guess it's because of the personal nature, the honesty. This one had diary entries = ) it also had emails. and then from different people's perspectives. And then broken up into 15 'books'. It kept me hooked, even through in parts I couldn't follow.

Favourite bit was the frazzled mother-of-two accidently blowing her self up. It was just so obscure and unexpected. Probably not meant to be, but I found it hilarious in a twisted sort of ironic way. I also like how real events like 9/11 were included in it. Just made it a tad more relatable.

I'm giving it 4 stars. It got me thinking in new ways. I now just have to work out who it belongs to so I can return it...

I don't want to live in hornsby.

Today I went on an adventure out west. I explored the 'bad' suburbs. On my own, no less. I was hit on by two strange men. Almost ran over. Death stared by some punk rocker chick on the train. Got slightly lost at Epping of all places. Realised that no matter where I go, if it's dark and I'm alone, the place is a bit scary. Including my own neighbourhood which I know well. But yes. I established that Regent's Park is pretty. I like it. I didn't see much of it because it was getting dark and people and argh but yes. I like it. And it's not as far out as T thinks. YEAH.


I'm quite in the mood to do something stupid. Like, 4). , 21). or 55).. But it's currently 1.27 in the morning so I don't think T will want to drive around with me in the boot of his car. Plus, he's been driving all day. I don't have a cliff to jump off so that's out too. And I don't have the money/ know a tattoo artist so I can't do that either. grr face. L and I were discussing putting holes in my back like this chick, but then he started talking about paper bendy arms and legs. I don't think he realised I was serious. But then, no one is quite serious when you're up past midnight. Anyway, if you can't see it, it's feathers attached to needles which have been stabbed into her back. I don't think I'd ever hear the end of it if I did do it so yeah, don't panik. Most likely won't happen. Unfortunately.


On a happy note, I borrowed some of the books from A so I can start reading the ones Rach recommended. YAY. I'm reading Fangland atm. Damn vampire obsession...


MuchLove.